In the 70’s, Harry Chapin recorded a song, Cats in the Cradle which epitomized the developmental task of middle adulthood (parenthood), namely “generativity versus stagnation”. The poignantly echoed wish of the son throughout the song, “I’m gonna be just like you Dad”. Became a reality as the son himself became a father and passed on the legacy of, perhaps generations of fathers’ having been preoccupied and emotionally unavailable.

The task at this stage of life for the adult son was to have acknowledged, felt, understood, and finally accepted the impact of what “being like dad” had had on him. In this process, the son would have reconnected with his previously suppressed, painful feelings of loss, and necessarily been more emotionally available to his children. This internal process captures what is meant by generativity, the positive resolution of this life stage.

In the song, the adult son remained in the dark and in denial about his losses. Stagnation, the negative resolution of the challenge of this life stage, by definition, implies that the son was just like his father, therefore as emotionally unavailable as the father was.

It wasn't until the end of his life that the finally recognized his own failures as reflected through his son’s unavailability, which illustrates the recuperative aspect of growth and development. The father’s newfound awareness could allow for the eventual reconnection with the long suppressed feelings, paving the way for a meaningful relationship with his son, should he choose to take that route.