1. True. Paradoxically, in a healthy relationship, the more both people take care of themselves, the better the relationship will be.

2. True. In a well-functioning relationship, both people take full responsibility for their respective parts in a conflict. This contrasts to just one person taking responsibility/ blame for the conflicts between them.

3. False. The end of a relationship means that one person has moved on, and wants something else. This is a common area of difficulty for people- taking a break up as meaning they are deficient in some way, when it has more to do with the other person.

4. False. If one of the purposes of communication in relationships is to educate the other about who you are, then it is important to share who you are rather than hide who you are. Some people mistakenly believe that it’s better to wait until you are more committed in the relationship, engaged, married, etc to reveal your true self.

5. False. Wanting to be liked often motivates people to put one’s best foot forward initially, but it’s more important for the relationship to be true to oneself first. That way, both people will know who they’re dealing with.

6. False. This could very well be the way people interact, but it is a disservice to the relationship, particularly because it hinders the relationship possibilities. It is more important to state your view/ position even though it may create a conflict, than to hide who you are in the early stages of the relationship. This happens often when people view conflict as negative, as opposed to seeing it as an opportunity for greater intimacy.

7. False. Your first concern should be about your feelings about the other person, not whether you think that person likes you. Sometimes people don’t even look at how they feel because they are so focused on whether they are liked, and then they end up in relationships for the wrong reason.

8. False. There is absolutely nothing wrong with healthy arguing. In fact, conflict is what tells you that you and your partner are separate human beings, and ultimately contributes to greater intimacy.

9. True. As people mature in relationships, they come to make decisions about exclusivity based on the desire to only spend time with that person, not based on a threat of breakup if they don’t. The mutual decision to be exclusive with each other is determined by each party and is contractually good as long as that desire continues between each party.

10. True. All people have needs for togetherness and needs for separateness. Negotiating those needs in a relationship can be difficult, but it is important to retain one’s individuality in a relationship, otherwise a loss of self ensure and resentment shortly follows. It is equally important to have enough togetherness time or the relationship may suffer.