Becoming parents is the singlemost notable event in the life of a couple, next to the first major move from single to married life. Beginning with the decision to have a child whether it be naturally conceived, artificially conceived, or through adoption, thoughts and feelings arise that may previously been unacknowledged by or to each partner. This time marks the point at which the partners  may begin to crystalize their images of themselves and each other as parent-to-be, a process begun much earlier during courtship.

The time interval between finding out that a new baby is on the way, ranging anywhere from about 8 months assuming normal gestation to how long one might be waiting for an adopted child to be available for adoption, provides the future parents with some time for the beginning of the “great transition”.   Change is happening inside and out, and everything is being viewed though different eyes- the body, the couple, the house, the financial situation, the days, the nights, the weekends, the vacations, work, play, etcetera, etcetera. And questions abound within and between the couple, such as “Will we change?” The stress brought on by these questions are not only normal but important. Being aware of the impending changes and making the necessary accommodations for them are crucial in making the smoothest transition possible.

The most difficult challenge facing new parents is retaining their coupledom amidst the demands of parenthood. Having difficulty finding time for themselves, many couples are quite tempted to sacrifice this replenishing and nurturing time for themselves and for their relationship for what seems to be only time available to the child. Making a concerted effort at balancing coupledom and parenthood is a tremendous gift that each parent gives to themselves, to each other, and to the child from day one.

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