This is the time of year when families typically come together to celebrate holidays like Thanksgiving, Chanukah and/or Christmas. At first thought, for some, the excitement of the festivities may take over; for others, the dread of festivities prevails. For others, both exist.    It can be distressing for people who are not in the holiday spirit, but who believe they should be. Anytime family is involved, there exists the potential for anxiety when there are unresolved issues, and the holidays are just that time.   The holiday season stirs up memories of times past, yet not forgotten. Even when the memories are good ones, the holiday season can present a challenge. Memories of friends and relatives who are no longer living can b ring a sense of loss and sadness, particularly when the death may have been within a year or maybe impending. The holidays punctuate each year, and anniversary events such as these may be more stressful than at other time. Sometimes the fact that time marches on can be both a source of distress and comfort.   Bad memories also present another source of stress for people during the holiday season. The wish for nostalgic good feelings, instead, may bring on a sense of depression for what was lost. The following includes a list of suggestions for how to handle any stressor which comes up:

l      Keep it simple: Realistically limit yourself, your time, and your finances. That way you won’t be paying for the holidays the rest of the year. As tempting as it may be to buy too much, to attend too many of the festivities, or to spread yourself too thin, you'll be happier when it’s over if you don’t! l      Keep it manageable: Remember that Rockwell’s pictures are not a standard with which to compare yourself or your family. You create the standard for your own family. That’s how family ritual’s are born and endure. l      Keep in touch: Check back with yourself on any issues that come up, knowing that you intuitively  have all the answers. If you feel clear about your needs, it’s easier to have them to refer to. When you’re feeling like something isn’t as it should be, you are probably right.

This season can be more meaningful, more peaceful, and more memorable than it’s been before. When the anticipation of the events matches the reality of the events, there can be a higher level of satisfaction. Happy Holidays!

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