It would seem that the ability to love is innate, but in fact, knowing how to love is learned. How someone is loved sets the stage for how he loves. When the love feels good enough, he tends to love in the same way. If it doesn’t feel good enough, the solution often appears to be to do the opposite. For example, if a person felt he was raised is a too “strict” family, he might have the tendency to be too lax with his children, which can be just as harmful for a variety of reasons.

 In an effort to do it differently, the baby gets thrown out with the bathwater, so to speak. Instead of reevaluating and/or modulating the rules, the whole concept of rules is discarded. “Too much” or “too little” require altering the amount, not eliminating altogether. What happens many times is that, mistakenly, the “too much” is usually eliminated,  or the “too little” is usually overdone, creating a situation where “good enough” has been overshot one way or another.

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