Marriage provides its partners with the opportunity to see, reflected in the other that which resides within the self. It is a perfect marriage.

Unconsciously, marital partners do bring out facets of themselves in their partners, for the purpose of disowning the dreaded part of the self so that they can then berate, bemoan, or reject it in their partner.

This process is know as projective identification. It is an unconscious defense mechanism designed by the unconscious to ward off anxiety of owning that dreaded part of the self.

When partners can re-own that which has been projected onto the other, new levels of growth and intimacy can occur.