The way people see themselves is often broken or distorted ways. Self-esteem comes about as a result of the way we see ourselves through the eyes of our caretakers. Although children see this reflection as accurate, it is not always the case.

In the movie, “Mother”, with Debbie Reynolds and Albert Brooks, the character portrayed by Mr. Brooks concluded, as a child, that he was unworthy of love. As an adult, however, he discovered that that had been more a reflection, literally and symbolically,  of his mother’s inability to love him rather than a reflection of his lovability. Children take in and internalize what they see reflected in the eyes of their caretakers. When the caretakers have a healthy sense of who they themselves are, the reflection of the child reflects just that. When caretakers themselves do not have a healthy sense of self, the child sees that and internalizes the negative view as being about who they are, getting a skewed or limited view of themselves.

This, of course, limits their ability to experience themselves fully as competent, whole or good enough human beings, resulting in a negative self-image. The way adults/ caretakers look at their children is a major contributor to their sense of self-image. The way the child is looked at becomes the way he looks at himself.